Once upon a time, I worked at Caribou Ranch. It was a recording studio. Kris Kristopherson was working on an album while I was there. Willie Nelson dropped by. He was headed to Red Rocks to perform a concert there. I drove him and got to go backstage and hang out with them. Willie had a few surprise guests. They loved playing music together; that joy made that night even more magical. I can’t write like they do but here is my blog/song to honor Merle. He died today. RIP Merle.
Bluebonnet Blues
As I looked toward the porch steps
And saw her shoe pile was gone
I shoulda known right there
That somethin was wrong
Then the dead bolt was unlocked
That was more than a clue
I’d trade all my tomorrows
If right now wasn’t true
Cause the dreamer in me
Refused to believe
She was gone
That our happily ever after,
our now and forever
was done
I walked through the front door
No sign of her there
I Begged and I pleaded
Offered one final prayer.
Dread quickly crushed all hope.
I was drowning in air.
Tryin not to loose faith,
choking back my despair.
Where’d she gone?……What went wrong?
Born a ‘true-blue’ believer
I swallowed my fear
Re-traced my foot steps,
Till It was painfully clear
Cause the believer in me
Just would not accept
She was gone
The dreamer in me
just could not concede
we were done
Who needed this love seat,
This couch and TV
The blue walls she’d painted
was all I could see
This wasn’t my Friday
Our plans had been made.
It was blue-bonnet weekend,
Those blooms quickly fade.
The rug had been pulled out
Sky blues turned to gray
No one would believe
that We’d end up this way
Feeling my heart break
– The wound time doesn’t heal
Her absence a ton of
Hardened blue steel
But the dreamer in me
Still tryin to pretend
We weren’t done
That our happily ever after,
our now and forever
wasn’t gone.
Her cobalt blue treasures
Were still sitting there.
Placed right where she wanted
with royal blue care.
what she’d clearly wanted
More than denim or lace
Was the strength and the courage,
To escape from this place
Our end had come.
She’d finally run.
And happy-ever after was done
But what I’d really wanted
All of what mattered most
Had instantly vanished
The past now a ghost.
Yet the dreamer in me
Refused to believe
She’d stay gone
That our happily ever after,
our now and forever
was done.
For three thousand nights
Since the day we first wed
We shared the same table
We shared the same bed
Her sapphire band
She’d left clipped to her keys
And Placed on her pillow
– This buckled my knees
Cause she was done sharing
And what we had shared
once was wrong.
Now the sinks full of dishes
Rumpled jeans; all I wear.
Weekends or Holidays
I don’t really care.
Days drag on like dry summers.
Midnights last way too long.
The only thing that’s almost right
Is Something always feels wrong
Pretending we were soul mates
Was her powder-blue lie.
She needed to be free of me
I’m still stuck hard on why.
My one that I lived for
Is now just a name.
Tryin hard not to blame her
Nearly drives me insane.
But the dreamer in me
Still needs to believe
Love’s not wrong.
Good thing I’m a dreamer
Makes it easy To keep Dreaming on.
(Dream on Merle)
